What do I tell them/her? Dog related?

Do you live with these people? If so there's not a whole lot you can do except to ask them to please respect you and they way you want them to treat your pet. Human behavior has a huge influence on animal behavior since they're non-verbal body language readers and maybe they don't understand that. Maybe coming only from you they think it's snobbish but you should try and find quality reading material for them so that they see it's not just something you think you figured out but a well known fact. If you don't live with these people you have a few options. One would be to keep Abbie separate from them when they're over (I'm not saying all the time, just when those few family come around). But again they should be respectful that they're coming into YOUR home and they can't do and say what they please when it comes to your pets. I'd also say that since you don't like the way they behave around Abbie you should never let them handle her as this will only make Abbie uncomfortable if they aren't completely comfortable themselves. Good luck.